Wait and Sea

You can walk on water, and you called me to follow you into the sea.  I began to swim, focusing solely on you.  My fear began to swell in the depths of the sea distracting me from my focus.  I swam out too far, and I was scared always asking for reassurance and guidance.  You continued to tell me to Believe.  You stepped further, and I swam farther.  I found myself in the unknown wakes of the sea. 

The storm came in like a hurricane.  The waves threw me over, and the currants held me down.  I fought against the storm as I thought this was the only way of survival.  I fought until the storm took it all from me.  It took my pride.  It took my anger.  It took my envy.  It took my doubt.  The storm fed off my sins; I was only fighting myself.  I surrendered.  I let go, and I let God. 

As I let go the storm rolled out, I found myself surrounded by a calm sea.  I was somewhere new.  Peace, light, and faith kept me afloat as I surrendered to the Son.  “Just wait,” He whispered into the depths of my heart.  “Just wait right here, be still.”  I tread water.  I slowly moved my arms and gracefully kicked my legs as I felt the embrace of the calm around me.  Not looking for land, not following the stars for direction, I did not know what was to come, but I believed I was saved. 

I continued to tread.  Growing tired, I felt the claws of control attempting to place their prideful reigns around my heart.  He whispered, “Just wait.  It’s coming.”  This was my test.  Was I going to selfishly take control or faithfully surrender?  I continued to tread.  The depths of the sea became my endurance, my fuel, my strength, and my energy.  Just then, I felt it!  On the most beautiful day I felt the message of the breeze.  “Get ready.” 

I know!  I feel it!  I know it in the core of my soul!  It’s coming!  It’s more than I ever imagined, and bigger that my hopes and dreams.  It’s my destiny, my passion, and my purpose.  I can’t see it yet, but I felt the breeze that begins to stir the sea.  The wave is just beyond the horizon.  I can feel it.  I will continue tread water and listen as it begins to form.  I am meant to catch this wave.  I swam through the storm to shed the weight of myself.  I released them like anchors that sank to the bottom of the ocean floor.   I am going to catch this wave and ride it in to where God intends me to be.

Keep believing,

Angie

Drafted in my journal on 10/23/13