I just learned today is World Adoption Day. I shouldn't be surprised. Today I sat at the table with a divine friend. We went deep. Conversations that covered current political climates, life and love of family, the absences of parents, and adoption. It was raw, and pure, and beautiful in its brokenness. There was peace embedded in the love of feeling safe with someone who holds the line with you...and there was Jesus at the heart of it all.
Two weeks ago someone told me that I wasn't 'really' adopted. My adoption is different, I know that. I was not orphaned, but I was abandoned. My father left me. Gave me away. Signed away his rights. There is no way to explain how it felt to read the letter that validated his request to no longer be my father. That's a void I've carried my entire life.
I'm told that I am lucky I have a dad who "chose" me. A man who willingly stepped in to be my dad. May I ask, how can anyone fill those shoes? Doesn't every little girl long for the love of their father? Maybe we got it all wrong. Instead of asking my dad to fill my father's shoes, we should have thrown the fucking shoes away and tried a different pair? I never gave my dad a chance. I was too busy chasing after the man who forgot his shoes.
It's ironic, you know, my father died 15 years ago. I have one single shoe of his from the time of his death. His 4th fiancé kept the matching pair. I vaguely remember her, she played a small cameo in his life. My relationship with my father was reduced to a small wooden box of items from his death and old photo albums of a man and a toddler...two people I never really knew.
I'm told my father loved me. That he loved me more than he could ever show me. I don't buy that. That's an excuse, a feel good, a remedy for the void. It's bullshit. Love doesn't create fear. Love doesn't foster doubt. Love is not a synonym for pain. I do think he wanted to love me. I do believe he even tried, at times. His battle with darkness held him hostage, and all his energy went to simply trying to survive.
Maybe he did me a favor by giving me away, providing me a better opportunity, but the pain remained. Last year I asked my dad to meet me for dinner. Sitting across from this man who provided me a childhood, I asked for his forgiveness as I never gave him a chance to really be my dad. As my father spent all his energy chasing vehicles of addiction, I chased after him leaving my dad behind.
Today is a beautiful day. I was adopted when I was 9 years old. Almost 30 years later I continue to heal. I know the love of God the Father, Jesus, and I am loved by my dad. I also know the peace of forgiveness. I'm healed by faith through grace. I'll share more on that another day. Today, I offer a voice to a child who was, in her own way, adopted.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
I Get It: It's Time to Write
I am such a morning person! My alarm goes off, it takes me all of 30 seconds to win the battle of getting up or staying in bed, and I'm quickly ready to jump into my day. I love the mornings. The quiet time before anyone wakes up. There is so much I do during this time that sets the foundation for my day. Whether I'm headed to yoga, run, or bike, I spend the first hour of my day fully committed to investing into this body God gave me. Once I'm home and showered, it's time to prep for the day: tidy up the house from the night before, make lunches, tend to the 'mommy' tasks.
My favorite part of the day is right after I drop Ryan off at school and right before I start work. This is my morning visit with God. I study His Word, script written prayers over friends, family, work, and bigger world issues, and I write. The last few weeks, God has really put on my heart (through the use of three very important people in my life) that it's time to start writing again.
My dear soulfriend, Jane, gave me a simple spiral-bound notebook and a sharpie pen indicating, IT'S TIME. I get it, God! I got the hint!
Each morning, I commit to filling one single page of paper in the spiral-bound notebook. Some days it fills us so quickly, I'm afraid I'll run out of space. Other days, it's not!
One of my bucket list items (you know, things you want to do to live life abundantly....oh wait, you thought it was things to do before you die? Perspective shift, my friends!) was to publish my memoir. I used to joke that Jerry Springer would pay millions for the story of my childhood until I realized that's not actually funny. It's...well it's...sad. Sometimes I think sharing my journey with others is just crazy. I mean really, how much can one person actually go through in one lifetime. You can't make this up.
...but as I write, I find it is not actually my story. They are my experiences but it is God's story. People beg and pray for miracles everyday, and they feel discouraged when they don't witness the blind man see or the deaf man hear. Yet, miracles are happening around us all day everyday. They are woven in the stories of each person navigating their way through life. It's the conquest over doubt, enlightenment of the heart, and healing of the soul. Don't let doubt blind you from seeing the beauty of these miraculous stories. I promise you, miracles aren't just found in the New Testament. They are all around you, you just need to look and listen!
As I continue to write and explore the possibility of actually sharing my story, I'm in awe of just how right my mom was when she called me her Romans 8:28 Baby: We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. So friends, can I ask you to come alongside me through this journey? To pray for my courage and for my experiences to share the story of of God's miraculous love for us. Will you pray for my doubt and fear to be overcome with faith and love?
And so it begins....It's time to write!
Stay Encouraged,
Angie
My favorite part of the day is right after I drop Ryan off at school and right before I start work. This is my morning visit with God. I study His Word, script written prayers over friends, family, work, and bigger world issues, and I write. The last few weeks, God has really put on my heart (through the use of three very important people in my life) that it's time to start writing again.
My dear soulfriend, Jane, gave me a simple spiral-bound notebook and a sharpie pen indicating, IT'S TIME. I get it, God! I got the hint!
Each morning, I commit to filling one single page of paper in the spiral-bound notebook. Some days it fills us so quickly, I'm afraid I'll run out of space. Other days, it's not!
One of my bucket list items (you know, things you want to do to live life abundantly....oh wait, you thought it was things to do before you die? Perspective shift, my friends!) was to publish my memoir. I used to joke that Jerry Springer would pay millions for the story of my childhood until I realized that's not actually funny. It's...well it's...sad. Sometimes I think sharing my journey with others is just crazy. I mean really, how much can one person actually go through in one lifetime. You can't make this up.
...but as I write, I find it is not actually my story. They are my experiences but it is God's story. People beg and pray for miracles everyday, and they feel discouraged when they don't witness the blind man see or the deaf man hear. Yet, miracles are happening around us all day everyday. They are woven in the stories of each person navigating their way through life. It's the conquest over doubt, enlightenment of the heart, and healing of the soul. Don't let doubt blind you from seeing the beauty of these miraculous stories. I promise you, miracles aren't just found in the New Testament. They are all around you, you just need to look and listen!
As I continue to write and explore the possibility of actually sharing my story, I'm in awe of just how right my mom was when she called me her Romans 8:28 Baby: We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. So friends, can I ask you to come alongside me through this journey? To pray for my courage and for my experiences to share the story of of God's miraculous love for us. Will you pray for my doubt and fear to be overcome with faith and love?
And so it begins....It's time to write!
Stay Encouraged,
Angie
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Shifting Still
It's been awhile. So long, in fact, I'm not even sure where to begin. This is actually the fifth attempt at the beginning. You see, I'm not sure when this all really began. I can't say anything has really changed, but everything has really shifted, and I keep looking to God in wonder. "Ok! So, what's this all about?" I don't have an answer to that yet, but there is a surrounding peace in the stillness of it all.
Stillness is quite a word actually, especially in today's world. I mean think about it. In a matter of five minutes how many times are you distracted-most likely by an electronic device of sorts? So, when you find yourself gravitating towards (or craving in most circumstances) stillness you discover it's a little more uncomfortable than you anticipated.
I'm learning there is a huge difference between resting and stillness. Who doesn't absolutely love a lazy Saturday in your comfy clothes with no where to go and only the endless episodes stored on your DVR? Being curled up on the couch with a much needed glass of wine sounds so inviting...that's resting!
Stillness is different. I'm not sure I've found it in it's purest form yet, but I'm learning it is being truly quiet within yourself; Listening...Deeply listening. A few years ago (2011, I think) I heard "Quiet Your Mind" by Zac Brown Band. This one lyric literally cracked open my heart and shifted my soul like an earthquake. Ready? I'll share it, but you might want to sit down for this one...
"If you're too busy talking, you're not busy listening, to hear what the land has to say. Quiet your mind."
I have a confession...for years I thought it said, 'to hear what the LAMB has to say;' LAMB meaning the Lamb of God-Jesus! When I discovered the actual lyric I couldn't help but laugh at how the words shifted in their translation to my aching soul!
Over the course of those following years, my life changed at it's foundation. My work/life balance scale pointed more towards family and away from it's previous dominance favoring work, I returned to the Catholic church and began attending Mass weekly, discovered running, and I fell deeper in love with my husband and our family. However, the most important shift was my true understanding of God's grace and that despite a lifelong struggle with feelings of abandonment His grace, His love, included me.
So, now here I am, a few years later, and my world is fundamentally shifting once again. It's not changing...just...shifting still. For example, I drastically decreased, if not almost completely stopped, running; earned a promotion at work; began actively practicing yoga; experienced shifts in a few sacred relationships; enrolled in a Boot Camp class, and left the Catholic Church (Note: Leaving the Catholic Church did not separate my relationship with God, but it quite honestly deepened my walk with Jesus). What I'm noticing is all these shifts have brought me this overwhelming sense of stillness.
God tells us in 1 Samuel 12:16, "Now then, be still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes," and He reminds us in Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God!" Despite all the shifting, there is a reassurance in the stillness. There is a peace in the quietness of being still. It's a new place for me.
So as I return to writing, I hope you find encouragement. May you become your own Encouraged Believer, and may you find peace in being still.
Stay Encouraged and God Bless,
Angie
PS-As I begin to write again, I will share with you the details of all these shifts: my decision to leave the Catholic Church, why I stopped writing (especially the Encouraged Runner), and how joy is so much better than happiness!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Desires of Our Hearts
I've been told multiple times that God truly wants to give us the desires of our hearts. When I lost my job in 2013, I was angry. It was a season in my life where I was completely focused on God's will, and sharing that will with others. When I lost my job, I went to some dark places in my life. I mean I was really mad at God and felt betrayed by this world! I'm certain I mentioned before that God and I were going to have a throw down. How could I endure such trials after following His will? What was the deal?
While I was unemployed I realized I loved being able to take care of my family. I never had the opportunity to be a full time wife/mother, but I was loving being able to drive Ryan to school everyday, tending to our household chores, and then spending quality time together when Mark came home from work. ...but I knew I had to go back to work as our finances were becoming more and more of an issue and concern.
That was a really hard and dark season of my life. I was trying to figure out who I was after losing my job, watching our financial situation wear on Mark, and trying to find God's purpose in all of this. I needed guidance, so I reached to two women, sisters in Christ, who I believed would help guide me in the right direction. We talked about God, his purpose in our lives, and his desire to truly give us the desires of our heart. It was during this time that I learned to pray specifically, and my prayers were simple. I prayed to find a job that I could continue to be available to care for my family and provide for them financially. I specifically prayed to be able to take Ryan to school.
A prayer was answered when a friend told me of an entry level sales position where her husband worked. I applied, interviewed, and within a week was working full time. When she told me about the job, there was a strong and confident whisper that told me this is where I was to go. So, I obeyed. The job was completely outside my wheelhouse, but the people were like family. The company was owned and operated by two Christians, and I immediately found myself in conversations about God's will and purpose in this chaotic experiment called life. The Office Manager became, and is still to this day, a sister in Christ and a cherished friend. I found that I was surrounded by believers and I felt encouraged...but I was losing more and more time with my family. I couldn't take Ryan to school and was stuck in rush hour traffic everyday that often led me to tears of frustration. I remember screaming to my mom about my unending frustration and confusion. I kept asking Where's God? Why didn't he listen?
That company was incredibly wonderful to me and served as an emergency room for my soul. The took me in, bandaged me up, strengthened my soul, and off I went. (Huge Note To Consider: After losing my job in 2013 as a Clinical Supervisor at an alternative school I swore I was retiring from the field. I vowed publicly never to return unless God himself called me out of retirement. Well...guess...what...happened...next...) I was offered a job as a School Counselor at an alternative school. I drove an hour and a half each way to school everyday; often leaving before Mark and Ryan were up. I didn't mind the drive as I filled the drive time with podcast sermons and Christian music. It was a rock concert for one every day. I uncovered I was still a good counselor and therapist. I was building relationships with the kids, but feeling like the relationship with my own family was still being neglected. Our financial struggles were continuing and we cut out every last extra we could spare. The stress was beginning to affect so many things.
One day, I was confiding in my aunt how difficult things were for us. Her company was expanding their Philadelphia Region and she was wondering if I would consider working for them. It was a rapid hiring process and before I knew it I was in a completely different arena.
As I left the alternative school, my students facilitated a farewell group where they offered thank you's and appreciations. The time came for me to wrap it up with a closing statement. I began to cry. In that moment, I realized my students (who were thanking me) were actually the ones who healed me. They trusted me and respected me and valued the work I did as a therapist. They healed the brokenness from being fired in 2013, I no longer felt I needed to prove anything. For as it is said in 1 John 4:4 "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world." I packed up my office and walked out with my heart happy and my soul healed. God put those kids in my life intentionally!
Fast forward a few months. I am now working for a company that offers me the balance of work and home. It challenges me but balances me! I work out of our home, drive Ryan to school everyday, and can manipulate my schedule to be present for Ryan's school or sport events. Our financial situation continues to improve, and we are able to do fun, memorable, activities as a family again.
I was overwhelmed with this feeling today that God has blessed me with the desires of my heart. As I accidentally ended up in Central Park, (my most favorite place, and a total blessing in disguise as I got myself lost on the metro system) I realized God filled a longing I only ever thought about and never shared with anyone. I love being in the city; I enjoy the hustle and bustle-the individuality and diversity of walking through the streets. I always wondered what it would be like to walk the city, to work in the city, to fully experience it. Today (and for the next two weeks) I did! I'd ask how did He know, but the truth is He always knows the desires of our heart.
Matthew 7:7 tells us, "Ask and you shall received. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you." As I'm learning to pray specifically and pray persistently, I feel completely overwhelmed with God's blessings. I know he wants to give us the desires of our hearts, yet I feel completely unworthy. I fail all the time. I get distracted. I doubt..., but He is always there telling us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God" Philippians 4:6. Even today, as I prayed over my anxiety of walking through Brooklyn trying to navigate the streets and Metro system, God sent me an earthly angel. The kindest elder woman approached me as if she heard my thoughts and said, "Were you trying to get?" With her cane in hand and altered gate, she walked me back out of the subway entrance to the bus stop I needed to send me on my way. It felt like God saying, "Not that way, my child. Go this way." My simple reply to her kindness, "Thank you, and my God bless you for your kindness.
God is every present; albeit silent at times, but always present. It's like he is saying, be patient, I'm working on it. Isn't hindsight always 20-20?!? Patience is clearly a virtue I lack. I reflect on the last year an a half, and I'm overwhelmed with God's presence...even when I thought he was silent. My heart is overflowing. I am good. I am in a really good season of life, and I will continue to offer praise, glory and honor to God. May he continue to use me for his will and purpose, and may I continue to stay focused on him and not get distracted by the temptations of this world.
So I encourage you...don't give up! God is with you and He is for you. Pray specifically! Pray over every worry, fear, or regret. When God is silent, don't let the feelings of doubt creep in, but be patient in the Lord for He is always with you! I pray that you are blessed with the desires of your heart and a life that is glorifying to God.
Stay encouraged and be blessed,
Angie
While I was unemployed I realized I loved being able to take care of my family. I never had the opportunity to be a full time wife/mother, but I was loving being able to drive Ryan to school everyday, tending to our household chores, and then spending quality time together when Mark came home from work. ...but I knew I had to go back to work as our finances were becoming more and more of an issue and concern.
That was a really hard and dark season of my life. I was trying to figure out who I was after losing my job, watching our financial situation wear on Mark, and trying to find God's purpose in all of this. I needed guidance, so I reached to two women, sisters in Christ, who I believed would help guide me in the right direction. We talked about God, his purpose in our lives, and his desire to truly give us the desires of our heart. It was during this time that I learned to pray specifically, and my prayers were simple. I prayed to find a job that I could continue to be available to care for my family and provide for them financially. I specifically prayed to be able to take Ryan to school.
A prayer was answered when a friend told me of an entry level sales position where her husband worked. I applied, interviewed, and within a week was working full time. When she told me about the job, there was a strong and confident whisper that told me this is where I was to go. So, I obeyed. The job was completely outside my wheelhouse, but the people were like family. The company was owned and operated by two Christians, and I immediately found myself in conversations about God's will and purpose in this chaotic experiment called life. The Office Manager became, and is still to this day, a sister in Christ and a cherished friend. I found that I was surrounded by believers and I felt encouraged...but I was losing more and more time with my family. I couldn't take Ryan to school and was stuck in rush hour traffic everyday that often led me to tears of frustration. I remember screaming to my mom about my unending frustration and confusion. I kept asking Where's God? Why didn't he listen?
That company was incredibly wonderful to me and served as an emergency room for my soul. The took me in, bandaged me up, strengthened my soul, and off I went. (Huge Note To Consider: After losing my job in 2013 as a Clinical Supervisor at an alternative school I swore I was retiring from the field. I vowed publicly never to return unless God himself called me out of retirement. Well...guess...what...happened...next...) I was offered a job as a School Counselor at an alternative school. I drove an hour and a half each way to school everyday; often leaving before Mark and Ryan were up. I didn't mind the drive as I filled the drive time with podcast sermons and Christian music. It was a rock concert for one every day. I uncovered I was still a good counselor and therapist. I was building relationships with the kids, but feeling like the relationship with my own family was still being neglected. Our financial struggles were continuing and we cut out every last extra we could spare. The stress was beginning to affect so many things.
One day, I was confiding in my aunt how difficult things were for us. Her company was expanding their Philadelphia Region and she was wondering if I would consider working for them. It was a rapid hiring process and before I knew it I was in a completely different arena.
As I left the alternative school, my students facilitated a farewell group where they offered thank you's and appreciations. The time came for me to wrap it up with a closing statement. I began to cry. In that moment, I realized my students (who were thanking me) were actually the ones who healed me. They trusted me and respected me and valued the work I did as a therapist. They healed the brokenness from being fired in 2013, I no longer felt I needed to prove anything. For as it is said in 1 John 4:4 "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world." I packed up my office and walked out with my heart happy and my soul healed. God put those kids in my life intentionally!
Fast forward a few months. I am now working for a company that offers me the balance of work and home. It challenges me but balances me! I work out of our home, drive Ryan to school everyday, and can manipulate my schedule to be present for Ryan's school or sport events. Our financial situation continues to improve, and we are able to do fun, memorable, activities as a family again.
I was overwhelmed with this feeling today that God has blessed me with the desires of my heart. As I accidentally ended up in Central Park, (my most favorite place, and a total blessing in disguise as I got myself lost on the metro system) I realized God filled a longing I only ever thought about and never shared with anyone. I love being in the city; I enjoy the hustle and bustle-the individuality and diversity of walking through the streets. I always wondered what it would be like to walk the city, to work in the city, to fully experience it. Today (and for the next two weeks) I did! I'd ask how did He know, but the truth is He always knows the desires of our heart.
Matthew 7:7 tells us, "Ask and you shall received. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you." As I'm learning to pray specifically and pray persistently, I feel completely overwhelmed with God's blessings. I know he wants to give us the desires of our hearts, yet I feel completely unworthy. I fail all the time. I get distracted. I doubt..., but He is always there telling us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God" Philippians 4:6. Even today, as I prayed over my anxiety of walking through Brooklyn trying to navigate the streets and Metro system, God sent me an earthly angel. The kindest elder woman approached me as if she heard my thoughts and said, "Were you trying to get?" With her cane in hand and altered gate, she walked me back out of the subway entrance to the bus stop I needed to send me on my way. It felt like God saying, "Not that way, my child. Go this way." My simple reply to her kindness, "Thank you, and my God bless you for your kindness.
God is every present; albeit silent at times, but always present. It's like he is saying, be patient, I'm working on it. Isn't hindsight always 20-20?!? Patience is clearly a virtue I lack. I reflect on the last year an a half, and I'm overwhelmed with God's presence...even when I thought he was silent. My heart is overflowing. I am good. I am in a really good season of life, and I will continue to offer praise, glory and honor to God. May he continue to use me for his will and purpose, and may I continue to stay focused on him and not get distracted by the temptations of this world.
So I encourage you...don't give up! God is with you and He is for you. Pray specifically! Pray over every worry, fear, or regret. When God is silent, don't let the feelings of doubt creep in, but be patient in the Lord for He is always with you! I pray that you are blessed with the desires of your heart and a life that is glorifying to God.
Stay encouraged and be blessed,
Angie
Monday, February 16, 2015
A Lenten Temptation...
If you didn't know, I converted to Catholicism in 2002. Prior to that, I always appreciated the dedication of 'giving something up for Lent,' but I never really understood it's purpose. So many people think Lent is a "Catholic" thing. I disagree..., and I spent the last several days thinking about my own Lenten sacrifice and how it contributes to my perspective on Lent.
The Bible tells us in Matthew 4:1-11 how Jesus spent 40 days in the desert. During this time, Jesus was tempted three times by Satan. Jesus was challenged to test and detest God. In return he would gain everything this world has to offer: food, power, riches beyond our eyes can see. With each temptation, Jesus called upon his relationship with his father and spoke confidently in faith. After the third temptation, when Jesus denied the request to worship Satan, God's angels came and attended to Jesus.
The lessons between the parallels of Jesus' time in the desert and our journey here on Earth are not lost on me. There are temptations everywhere and in everything we do. The shows we watch, music we listen to, food we eat, and endless time we spend learning about what others are doing through social media, news reports, magazines, etc. Temptation is everywhere.
Father Camilli, a Retired Pastor at our church, once said during his homily, "It's hard to live as a Catholic, but it's great to die as one." I think that's the case with anyone or any religion who believes in God and acknowledges Jesus as their Savior. It is hard to live as a Christian*, but it is great to die as one! I truly believe it is hard to live a Christian life on this Earth. So many think that because we are Christian that we are immune to faults and insecurities, fears and failures. The truth is, we are just as broken as anyone else. We fail. We let others down. We curse or say unkind things about ourselves or others. We are not perfect, but we have faith in God's grace extended to us through Jesus (John 3:16). A dear friend of mine, and Pastor, Jen Eckhart once preached about how God chooses the most broken vases to plant his seeds! We just need to allow and invite God's spirit to nurture that seed! It is the wonderfully broken vases that have the most beautiful stories! It's an earthly example of Romans 8:28 ("and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"). We are broken and we are flawed, but we are loved and love heals all brokenness!
Lent is my favorite time of year. I believe it is the time of year for us to consider the magnitude of God's unconditional love for us. To realize no matter how broken we are that God loves us so much he sent his only son to die for us. Wait...WHAT?!?! Consider this: is there anyone you love so much that you would allow your child, parent, or even your best friend to be tortured and murdered so that would not have to live in jail for eternity. Again I say, Wait! WHAT????
Then, I really get to thinking. What could I possible give up that would be worthy of that? BUT...that's not what what lent is about! Lent is suppose to be a time of reflection and prayer. Time with God reflecting on the gift he offered us through Jesus. Our temptations serve as a reminder. A reminder to call upon God, to pray when we feel weak, and to ask him for help in all we do (even the small things like not eating that delicious bowl of ice cream)! Lent is our time to reflect and to strengthen our relationship with God. It's a time to remember what Jesus did for us. Lent is a time of reflection and prayer; a time of extending and accepting forgiveness for the brokenness within us and within our relationships.
I've done it all for Lent. I gave up Facebook, gave up sweets, said the rosary everyday, and extended daily acts of kindness (which was my favorite). Each year I learned something new about myself and the power temptation has over me. This year, I am headed back to The Daniel Plan written by Pastor Rick Warren where I am encouraged to remember my body is a temple of God. My body is a place where God's Spirit lives within me, a place I must protect and respect. This lent season I will renew my commitment to the five essential areas: Faith, Food, Fitness, Focus, and Friends/Family. I will follow the example set in Romans 12:1, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship." My lent commitment is to clean eating and God honoring food choices.
As you head into your own season of Lent, I encourage you to remember, "We are saved by trusting, and trusting means looking forward to getting something we don't yet have--for a man who already has something doesn't need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn't happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently. And in the same way--by faith--the Holy Spirit helps us with our daily problems and in our praying" (Romans 8:24-26). Through the 40 days of Lent remember those feelings of temptations are delightful reminders to "...pray about everything..." (Philippians 4:6). Think of them as such and you will find the temptation no longer has power over you because "we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us" (Philippians 4:13).
Be blessed this Lenten season and stay encouraged,
Angie
*For clarification purpose: I do not believe there is a separation between Catholics and Christians. If I'm being completely candid, I struggle when someone tells me I'm not Christian because I am Catholic. How can someone place a label on my relationship with God or Jesus? I believe in God the father, maker of heaven and earth...I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only son of the Father...I also believe in the Holy Spirit who proceeds with the Father and the Son. Paraphrase of the Nicene Creed was fully intentional! :)
Saturday, January 24, 2015
A Girl and Her Bible
I lost my job in June 2013. This was one of those major moments in your life when learning who you really are is a very (VERY) painful process. It felt a lot like the potter and the clay. I often found myself begging God, Please stop, I can't take anymore. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but in my case I think he was really pushing me. I needed to decide was I going to stay true to my values and my faith, or was I going to conform to the ways of the world.
As I approached the demise of my career, I found myself seeking God in a way I had never done so before. Two days prior to my termination, I sat at my son's baseball game and felt an overwhelming direction to read the book of Isaiah.
I dusted off my Bible and began to consume God's word. I found hope, instruction, and encouragement. I knew I was facing a battle I was about to lose, but I also found the reassurance and confirmation that I was following God's will. My test was clear. Was I going to follow God or was I going to save myself and my job? If I'm being completely honest this was the hardest decision, but I didn't realize the battle was going to turn into a full out war within myself the months following.
Three months later, I was on the phone with my mom telling here I was about to have a full out throw-down with God. I knew I would lose, but we needed to have it out. How could this happen? How could it be that I was following Him, but now I found myself bitter, angry, and feeling forsaken? My mom invited me to read one chapter of the Bible with her daily. Just one, and then we would text back and forth any questions, thoughts, or ideas left on our heart and minds from that chapter. I accepted the invitation, while thinking What else am I going to do.
I never read the Bible before. I occasionally referenced it for all those motivational verses your hear or read, but I never read it for the purpose of spending time with God. I never actually read it. Now, I read one chapter daily. I pick a book and read it one chapter at a time until I finish that book. What I've come to understand is that the Bible is God's instruction, love, support, and encouragement written to us. I kind of feel like it's my owner's manual to life. I never felt like I heard God in my life before. Through spending time with Him, in His Word, everyday, I am now have an active relationship with my Father. It is the coolest thing...EVER!
Through reading the Bible I've learned more about God's grace and love for me. I've come to know Jesus. I've learned that God's used the Holy Spirit to teach me throughout life. I learned my 'gut feelings' were actually God speaking to me through His Holy Spirit. I hear Him because I've started to listen. I hear Him because I consume His words...everyday.
I don't go anywhere without my Bible. It's always in my bag. I travel with it and take it to work. You never know when you're going to need it. It's my owners manual, and you don't leave your owner's manual for the car in the house do you? My Bible is my encouragement. It's my discipline, understanding, and hope. It's oxygen for my soul.
If you have a Bible, please post a picture of it on The Encouraged Believer status for this blogpost. If you don't have a Bible and would like one, please personal message me at the Encouraged Believer on facebook or email me directly at angeline.piskorski@gmail.com, and I will happily send one to you.
Stay encouraged and God Bless,
Angie
As I approached the demise of my career, I found myself seeking God in a way I had never done so before. Two days prior to my termination, I sat at my son's baseball game and felt an overwhelming direction to read the book of Isaiah.
I dusted off my Bible and began to consume God's word. I found hope, instruction, and encouragement. I knew I was facing a battle I was about to lose, but I also found the reassurance and confirmation that I was following God's will. My test was clear. Was I going to follow God or was I going to save myself and my job? If I'm being completely honest this was the hardest decision, but I didn't realize the battle was going to turn into a full out war within myself the months following.
Three months later, I was on the phone with my mom telling here I was about to have a full out throw-down with God. I knew I would lose, but we needed to have it out. How could this happen? How could it be that I was following Him, but now I found myself bitter, angry, and feeling forsaken? My mom invited me to read one chapter of the Bible with her daily. Just one, and then we would text back and forth any questions, thoughts, or ideas left on our heart and minds from that chapter. I accepted the invitation, while thinking What else am I going to do.
I never read the Bible before. I occasionally referenced it for all those motivational verses your hear or read, but I never read it for the purpose of spending time with God. I never actually read it. Now, I read one chapter daily. I pick a book and read it one chapter at a time until I finish that book. What I've come to understand is that the Bible is God's instruction, love, support, and encouragement written to us. I kind of feel like it's my owner's manual to life. I never felt like I heard God in my life before. Through spending time with Him, in His Word, everyday, I am now have an active relationship with my Father. It is the coolest thing...EVER!
Through reading the Bible I've learned more about God's grace and love for me. I've come to know Jesus. I've learned that God's used the Holy Spirit to teach me throughout life. I learned my 'gut feelings' were actually God speaking to me through His Holy Spirit. I hear Him because I've started to listen. I hear Him because I consume His words...everyday.
I don't go anywhere without my Bible. It's always in my bag. I travel with it and take it to work. You never know when you're going to need it. It's my owners manual, and you don't leave your owner's manual for the car in the house do you? My Bible is my encouragement. It's my discipline, understanding, and hope. It's oxygen for my soul.
If you have a Bible, please post a picture of it on The Encouraged Believer status for this blogpost. If you don't have a Bible and would like one, please personal message me at the Encouraged Believer on facebook or email me directly at angeline.piskorski@gmail.com, and I will happily send one to you.
Stay encouraged and God Bless,
Angie
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Our God of Three: Seek, Listen, Pray
This Sunday's First Reading in Mass tells us the story of Samuel. In 1 Samuel 3:3-10, 19, the LORD calls Samuel while he is sleeping. Samuel awakes, runs to Eli, and says, "Here I am. You called me." Eli replies, "I did not call you." This happens three times, when Eli recognized that the LORD was calling Samuel. Eli encourages Samuel to go back to bed, and when he hears the LORD call him to reply, "Speak LORD, your servant is listening."
The intention of three is not lost on me. I have found in my own life. When God wants to encourage, reassure, or teach me something He does so (almost always) in three's. A friend of mine calls these reminders, 'Godwinks.' It is truly as if God is winking at you and saying, I am with you. I love when this happens. A simple example is actually found in the beginning of The Encouraged Believer. Starting this community was something that was on my heart for a while, but the fear of what others thought paralyzed me. I was more worried that I was going to find myself isolated by talking openly about my faith. Will people think I'm crazy? Who am I to talk about God-I'm not educated or well-versed in the Bible? Why would anyone wan to read this? The feeling to start The Encouraged Believer kept pulling harder and harder on my heart. (And, if you've ever had God place a calling on your heart, you know it gets stronger in a call to action type of way). Entering 2015, with my mantra of Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4) I listened to the call on my heart and The Encouraged Believer began. Feeling vulnerable and unsure, I wrote and put it out there wrapped in a prayer. I received a verbal encouragement, email, and text from three different people within 24 hours. They were my Godwinks.
This weekend while on a run with a new running group, a new friend shared his testimony, and in it was story of a calling, found in three prompts. Amazing how God communicates with us.
You see, I'm in Tampa right now for a three week training. I'm starting a new job, and if I'm being completely honest I'm totally outside of my comfort zone. I'm struggling with the 'he who is in the world part.' I've always associated what my profession was with what my calling was. I'm learning, God will use us is so many ways throughout the journey of our lives. It may not be easy, it may feel like we are going wherever the wind blows, but the truth is if we keep our eyes on Him we will find our way to where He calls us.
A few months ago, I listened to a podcast sermon given by my friend JoJo Herndon. In this sermon, he talks about God's calling on our lives. Many times we pray, 'God, let your will be done," but then we don't do anything. We just sit...and wait...for IT to happen. JoJo reminds us in his sermon to pray for faith and courage to move towards God's calling on our lives. Pray to have the strength and confidence to take a chance, make a change, or take the first step. When I'm scared about a big decision, I find reassurance in Romans 8:28, "We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose." It's my reminder. As long as I keep my eyes on Him and seek Him (through prayer, action, love, etc) then he will work all my actions for his Glory. Many of my childhood experiences are evidence that God can take the broken and use it to glorify him in the most interesting ways.
So as I sit on the dock of the bay (literally), writing this post, I find myself praying about this now journey in my life. I'm scared, I'm a little embarrassed of my frequent job changes since 2013 (when I lost my job-that's for another post, another day), and I'm taking on a completely new adventure. (Hey, I just realized, this is my third job since 2013, and you know how I feel about 3's!) I'm reminding myself that God assures us when we answer, "Speak LORD, your servant is listening." Seek Him and you will see him. Ask him and you will hear him. Pray, for He is always with you.
Stay Encouraged and God Bless,
Angie
The intention of three is not lost on me. I have found in my own life. When God wants to encourage, reassure, or teach me something He does so (almost always) in three's. A friend of mine calls these reminders, 'Godwinks.' It is truly as if God is winking at you and saying, I am with you. I love when this happens. A simple example is actually found in the beginning of The Encouraged Believer. Starting this community was something that was on my heart for a while, but the fear of what others thought paralyzed me. I was more worried that I was going to find myself isolated by talking openly about my faith. Will people think I'm crazy? Who am I to talk about God-I'm not educated or well-versed in the Bible? Why would anyone wan to read this? The feeling to start The Encouraged Believer kept pulling harder and harder on my heart. (And, if you've ever had God place a calling on your heart, you know it gets stronger in a call to action type of way). Entering 2015, with my mantra of Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4) I listened to the call on my heart and The Encouraged Believer began. Feeling vulnerable and unsure, I wrote and put it out there wrapped in a prayer. I received a verbal encouragement, email, and text from three different people within 24 hours. They were my Godwinks.
This weekend while on a run with a new running group, a new friend shared his testimony, and in it was story of a calling, found in three prompts. Amazing how God communicates with us.
You see, I'm in Tampa right now for a three week training. I'm starting a new job, and if I'm being completely honest I'm totally outside of my comfort zone. I'm struggling with the 'he who is in the world part.' I've always associated what my profession was with what my calling was. I'm learning, God will use us is so many ways throughout the journey of our lives. It may not be easy, it may feel like we are going wherever the wind blows, but the truth is if we keep our eyes on Him we will find our way to where He calls us.
A few months ago, I listened to a podcast sermon given by my friend JoJo Herndon. In this sermon, he talks about God's calling on our lives. Many times we pray, 'God, let your will be done," but then we don't do anything. We just sit...and wait...for IT to happen. JoJo reminds us in his sermon to pray for faith and courage to move towards God's calling on our lives. Pray to have the strength and confidence to take a chance, make a change, or take the first step. When I'm scared about a big decision, I find reassurance in Romans 8:28, "We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose." It's my reminder. As long as I keep my eyes on Him and seek Him (through prayer, action, love, etc) then he will work all my actions for his Glory. Many of my childhood experiences are evidence that God can take the broken and use it to glorify him in the most interesting ways.
So as I sit on the dock of the bay (literally), writing this post, I find myself praying about this now journey in my life. I'm scared, I'm a little embarrassed of my frequent job changes since 2013 (when I lost my job-that's for another post, another day), and I'm taking on a completely new adventure. (Hey, I just realized, this is my third job since 2013, and you know how I feel about 3's!) I'm reminding myself that God assures us when we answer, "Speak LORD, your servant is listening." Seek Him and you will see him. Ask him and you will hear him. Pray, for He is always with you.
Stay Encouraged and God Bless,
Angie
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